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I am a people pleaser. How can I deal with it?

Question by Chloe | 12/10/2019 at 10:52

My boyfriend told me that I am a people pleaser because I don't feel comfortable to say no to people or reject them. I feel embarrassed to turn people down when they ask me to do a favor. I know it's ok to refuse to do something that I don't want to. Oh. I should really get rid of it.

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The problem with being that type of person is that people will exploit you. They will make advantage of you, because you will be always there.

That is not healthy for you. You have to consider drawing boundaries. A good choice is to say no if you're not comfortable with something one would have from you. If you feel okay with helping someone, you should go for it. However, if you are doing something unwillingly, there must be a border to protect yourself.

I know, that is easier said than done. So, you have to start at small steps. Think about situations in which you said yes but afterwards you thought that a no would have been more adequate. Then, sort those situations regarding how difficult it would have been for you to say no. When you have that list, start acting. Start with those situations in which it is easy for you to say no. Then, increase the difficulty and dare to go beyond until you are feeling comfortable in all situations.
13/10/2019 at 22:31

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